Milking the Prostate -- Funny scene from "Road Trip"
I was bored all of the time. My life felt totally aimless. It also forced me to really take stock of my life, and be happy with what I have. The one-bedroom I have with no modern amenities Installation Prostata-Massage a miniature refrigerator. I like the limits to my schedule. I love having to feed her because it forces me to think about how I feed myself. I have goals every day. I have to get Cleo to Installation Prostata-Massage three times. I have to feed her three healthy meals.
I have to walk 10, steps. I have to walk the dog twice. Installation Prostata-Massage have to shop Installation Prostata-Massage food, and make dinner. In between, and in the evenings, are spells of nothingness, and those spells of nothingness are way easier to Installation Prostata-Massage than Installation Prostata-Massage my days were spells of nothingness. What a sappy fucking post, but whatever.
I feel like an alien with a stroller in midtown in the morning. Installation Prostata-Massage the light Installation Prostata-Massage on changing in that way light only changes amongst skyscrapers. A sunny day suddenly turns impending rain. Morning is dusk. Whenever I do feel the urge, I want to make fun of my poor husband, who really needs someone to change his diaper and rub his head while he naps. Because my husband is a baby.
Yesterday afternoon, we got home from a long walk as a family. Five minutes later, I looked down at my hands, and realized that one was feeding the baby her ricotta cheese, and the other was feeding my husband a cucumber dipped in hummus.
They both sat expectantly with their mouths open. I was making a concerted effort not to look at my phone Installation Prostata-Massage if I did, I knew he would notice, and get mad. Installation Prostata-Massage know not all men are like Installation Prostata-Massage, and moreover, we make each other laugh.
I would read it. I did read it. Do you have any other fantasy books to recommend to me. This one was recommended by a friend who always has the best suggestions but she is currently tapped out. There is a shop in Brooklyn where all the cool girls seemingly shop, and it is called Bird. I almost never went in there until I met Caleb, who will not rest in December until he goes into credit card debt buying me Christmas presents.
This year, in an attempt to appease him, I asked him to buy me a pair of No. I wanted the black pair but they only had tan. I Installation Prostata-Massage for a full week after openi ng them on Christmas day because I desperately wanted to return them. People who know Installation Prostata-Massage well know that buying things, especially expensive Installation Prostata-Massage, makes me so anxious that I am usually not able to sleep once they are in my possession until they are returned.
You best be sure I wore th at Installation Prostata-Massage every day for months afterwards even though it itched terribly and made me look like a block of wood covered in a tea cozy. I was in eighth grade. I was super relieved when the No. They make me feel like a geologist who keeps a bag of almonds in a ziplock Installation Prostata-Massage in Installation Prostata-Massage backpack in case she gets hungry while inspecting the water table on a freeway in Southern California.
Now, no one gives a shit what I say. I quickly suspected that there was nothing more to the room than what it presented in the moment we entered it. A narrow ramp that extended in the center, and served as a platform over a grid of white pyramids. The pyramids were lit grayish white.
The walls o f the gallery were grayish-white. The room smelled of fresh paint. Resembled, but did not replicate. The room was noticeably small. It was clear where the field of pyramids hit a wall, and ended.
The installation felt empty, like it needed to be activated by a light show, or at the very least, a weed brownie, to hold my attention for the allotted twenty minutes. Click here to read the rest of my review for Forbes. I interviewed fantastic Cig Harvey on the phone today. I told her that my baby might fuss, and fuss the baby did, as I tried to remember what the fuck I wanted to ask her about her new body of work.
Cig is a mother too, so she was understanding. I think this might be an image from something else Installation Prostata-Massage, but it came up when I did a Google search, and I liked it, so whatever. On the way to yoga class tonight, Installation Prostata-Massage thought about how happy I have been of late, but how reluctant I am to talk about it. I thought about how being Installation Prostata-Massage mother has allowed me to form a community, and Installation Prostata-Massage basic I am.
Then I thought for a while how when you grow up with a lot of dysfunction, with forms of abuse and mental illness, how ordinary things like ordering a soda with your meal can Installation Prostata-Massage totally subversive, and that being normal is actually the most rebellious and healthy way you can turn out. I was taught my whole life that I was wrong Installation Prostata-Massage having basic, ordinary needs Installation Prostata-Massage wanting to watch television, and I was taught by society that to want to be a mother was a defeat and a failure and a shame.
I love being a mother. I thought of how we got home this afternoon, and what a relief it was to be home. We ordered dinner at 4pm, and watched television while Cleo played on the floor in front of us.
I guess I thought my family would be like the families I have always known. My family was dysfunctional, and because that was what I knew, I was drawn to dysfunctional people. But I was often very lonely. I guess there is a serious relief in knowing that I can enjoy this. This being motherhood. What is a night of drinking to this? Friday Night Lights taught me a lot about the game itself, the playbooks and the 2nd QBs and thrill of winning.
I even learned some player positions. Because as hot as Kyle Boller looks in some Installation Prostata-Massage his publicity photos, ultimately he seems like the type of guy who is good at taking orders and carrying heavy loads.
My blog turns 7 today. I can believe it. God, I love to write this stupid stuff. I do Installation Prostata-Massage work at night when Cleo goes to bed. Like I can eat while I work. And I can sit up straight. And I know Installation Prostata-Massage my computer wants.
Anyway, I am fucking tired. Like, what I would not give to take to slightly overdose on Xanax and sleep until Sunday, you do not know. Maybe my firstborn child tho. I used to have lots of things to Installation Prostata-Massage about, but now my days are mostly the same. I am mostly racing around trying not to mentally freak out about being at home with a small child.
I am also in love. I used to also Installation Prostata-Massage about my feelings, but now I talk about my feelings in person with my new friends.
One thing I do not talk about with my friends is the tricks that Cleo can and cannot do for two reasons:. The truth Installation Prostata-Massage that she has already missed a number of them. Unlike her friend Oliver, who has been chasing his cat around the house since he was five months old, the closest Installation Prostata-Massage has ever come to moving is shuffling along the floor on her back in a spasmodic rendition of the bridge pose.
You may be saying to yourself, no Installation Prostata-Massage crawls at seven months old, and that is just not true. I immediately hated them. Who did those bitches think they were, copying us mothers in the BoCoCa area.
Also, they were talking about taking their babies to baby modeling casting calls, and in Installation Prostata-Massage honesty, their babies were merely normal looking. The film was interrupted right by the end for a fire drill. The audience of moms and babies was left sitting for a full forty minutes until someone came in to announce it would never come back on.
And even then, who knows what people with cerebral palsy know? And as she said it, Installation Prostata-Massage baby started Installation Prostata-Massage across the floor at a breakneck and absolutely textbook crawl.
When he reached the woman, he grabbed her legs, and pulled himself to the standing position. My mouth literally dropped. Cleo looked at the androgynous teething toy in her hand, and with a low moan, banged it in Installation Prostata-Massage air as if she were saluting Kim Jong Un. That evening, I tried to place some toys just beyond her grasp, and she just sat there.